? ??????????????X-Ray High Heel? ????? ?? ???Rating: 3.4 (221 Ratings)??30 Grabs Today. 27045 Total Grabs.
??????Preview?? | ??Get the Code?? ?? ?????????????????Flip Flops? ????? ?? ???Rating: 4.3 (284 Ratings)??29 Grabs Today. 46443 Total Grabs. ??????Preview?? | ??Get the Code?? ?? ?? BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS ?

Monday, March 15, 2010

You Might Be A Hoebag If............

We are gonna break it down on the real simple for you slow girls today. First let's make it clear, there is nothing wrong with having your fun. There is nothing wrong, in my opinion, and no, it is not fucking humble, with having multiple partners. As long as it is by choice, for fun and not reassurance of your own worth and done safely. With that said, there is a difference in that lifestyle choice and just plain out being a hoebag. So, let's get to business.

#1Sign You Are A Hoebag Your name is Rielle Hunter
hunter, rielle
Okay, you slept with a married Senator, no biggie, I (didn't)sleep with a Senate hopeful. You had a baby with him, you let his supporters put you up in nice homes, bleeding them dry and living off of them, living with Andrew Young AND his wife, pretending Mr Young was yo baby daddy, until it better suited you to tell the truth. You may or may not have video taped yourself doing the dirty with Sen. Edwards, without messing up that perfect hair of his, I'm sure. But none the less, all of this and now, today I find that, so as not to let me forget your past hoebag actions, you've posed suggestively with the former Senator's child's stuffed animals. Thank you. I am submitting your photo to urbandictionary.com to appear beside the word hoebag, cause honey, you fucking nailed it!!

#2 Sign That You Are A Hoebag You walk into a room on a Thursday during lent, people start to sniff the air around you then ask if it is already Friday. Yeah, I went there! Wash your vagina girl, nothing says hoebag like a smelly coochie.

#3 Sign You Might Be A Hoebag Baby daddy 1-Jail, Baby daddy 2-Whereabouts unknown, Baby daddy 3- Identity questionable, Baby daddy 4- Narrowed down to just 2, but it's a tough call since they are brothers. Yes girl, you are a hoebag!! Buy you a fake Chanel and hit the flea market to find those babies some Sketchers!

#4 Sign You Might Be A Hoebag The marching band at your high school spells out your name during their field performance, all in agreement, boys, girls and band instructor, that you were the single greatest influence on them during the year. Oh yeah, don't forget that one time at band camp......

#5 Sign You Might Be A Hoebag You have ever been shown a naked photo of yourself that you didn't know was taken, but clearly did pose for and enjoyed doing so, especially if said photo involved numerous other people engaged in sexual acts with you. It's one thing to decide to allow someone to take pix, another to just have that shit happening, that's hoebaggery at it's finest, congratulations!!

So, here is the sliding scale.....if you answered yes to number one, you are automatically a hoebag. Sorry, no return from that level.
Yes to any one of the others, possible recovery, with the exception of #3, I mean, assuming you have heard of things like Roe V. Wade and The Morning After Pill *sigh* nevermind.
Answer yes to two or more of the others, you are destined for a life of hoebagginess. Enjoy your hoebag lifestyle, it's not like you can't still love yourself and all of those around you. Just, ya' know, think about washing up a bit first. birth control is an option, too. Just sayin.

Anyway, it's Monday, Wicked Wednesday is just around the corner, hit me up with any questions you may have.

9 comments:

Phoenixism said...

#2 gag

#3 If you don't do Plan B, I hope you have Plan C & D ready for the next 18 years...

Eternally Distracted said...

hmmm, this is not a club I want to be in but I soooo wanna tell you that i ticked ALL the boxes... of course I didn't :0)

pattypunker said...

you are right, no fucking sliding scale for number one. no doubt she smells like fisherman's wharf.

Sadako said...

Great list. Rielle is pretty awful, isn't she?

Wicked Pen said...

gurllll ... you talkin' 'bout my baby daddy problems again? shooo... i know 1000% that baby is ray ray's. he look just like him! well, 'cept his toes look like his cousin's next do'neighba.

:-) you're welcome

-pen

A Vapid Blonde said...

Sometimes I look at some chicks and I call thaem Bacalao Crotch. Its salted and dried cod if you don't know and I have heard it stinks so bad, and you know people still eat it!

J said...

The least such h***can do is wash eeek to think they don't and please do not bring any children into this world...

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Tru dat! LOL.

This one may be too obvious, but if you ever need to go on Maury to figure out who your baby daddy is? Yup. And if you have to come back for the 3rd time?...

Srly. I don't even know how that worked...

MikeB said...

Hilarious. Very creative. I love it. Thank goodness, I have never met a hoebag.